Duke Nukem Forever

It took me between 12-13 ass-kicking, gut-spilling, booby-filled hours to complete this game.

Back in ’96, when Duke Nukem made his first appearance into the 3D world, all my friends bragged about tipping strippers and kicking pig-cops in the nuts. I first played Duke on the N64, but never actually got through it due to its headache-inducing graphics. I always felt like I was missing out on a really important game of my generation. But now, 15 years later, I’m able to enjoy Duke and all his B-movie inspired one-liners in a whole new graphical light.

After beginning a new game, the player finds Duke being “serviced” by a set of barely legal twins in his mansion. After they head out, Duke soon tends to a call from the President. Apparently, the aliens have returned to earth, but Duke is given strict orders not to interfere – that is, ‘til those “alien bastards” invade his crib and steal his twin babes. Duke is pissed, and he takes it upon himself to gut some alien swine. After escaping his mansion, he sets off to get back earth’s women.

Those of you who are familiar with other 2K games (The Darkness, Bioshock 1&2, Borderlands) should feel right at home with Duke Nukem Forever regardless of whether or not you’ve played prior games in the Duke franchise. Controls follow the modern FPS template – aim with the left trigger, fire with the right trigger, throw explosives with right bumper, etc. Graphically, Duke is on par with some of the most beautiful shooters out there, especially when fighting the many “larger than life” bosses. However, some of the indoor level designs seem recycled at times and way too linear.

My favorite parts in the game involve Duke increasing his EGO meter. Much like the shield bar in the Halo series, Duke’s EGO represents how much damage he can take before finally biting the bullet. By interacting with certain objects in the single player campaign, you can increase your maximum EGO. Sign an autograph and Duke gets a permanent +1 to his health. Photo copy Duke’s ass in an abandoned office and get a +3. Use the action button on the glory hole in the public bathroom and Duke will add a whopping +4 to his health. As you can see, these actions can range from pure innocence to extreme depravity. Either way, I found them all humorous and well worth a chuckle.

If you’ve already played past Duke installments, you’ll be happy to hear that all his past weapons have returned with explosive force. Among them, you’ll find familiar guns such as The Ripper & the Shrink Ray (lots of fun to use by the way), explosives like the RPG & the Devastator, and new additions like the Rail Gun and the Enforcer Gun. Pipe bombs and trip mines also make a comeback.

Overall, Duke Nukem Forever is a solid game for any FPS fan. My only problem with the game was its mind-numbing loading screens. I had installed this game to the hard drive and it still took roughly 45 seconds to a minute for each screen to load. I can’t imagine how long it would take had I decided not to install it. However, if you’re a fan of topless women, inappropriate one-liners, and aliens blowing up in a beautiful spray of blood and gore, then pick this game up…the load times may give you enough time to recover from all the laughter. Enjoy!